What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
