TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
