New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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