Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize