if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't turn off my feet"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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