my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
