First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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