I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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