my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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