It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize