That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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