My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
