I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
