If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
