You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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