***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
