i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
