she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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