Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize