Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Green mimosas i think yes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
