Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize