And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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