it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Can Purell be used as lube?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
