its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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