you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
