She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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