his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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