No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
