hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
