It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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