My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
