From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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