We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
