This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize