we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
