You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
