Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
