i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize