i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize