Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
