Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
