The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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