I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize