Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
