You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
