On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize