You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
