the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it because I queefed?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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