do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize