STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
