peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he thought i was a dude.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
