But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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