We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize