whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
