im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
