we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize