The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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