I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
