Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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