We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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