Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
