Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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